the shame game – where do you fit in?

my-shameDo you have a deep dark secret that you can’t share, something you wish you could unburden yourself from? There is nearly always something burning away at every single one of us but we always think the same thing….“it’s just too awful to tell”.

There is a sad truth about shame and how we deal with it in our culture. We heap it on each other and then expect ourselves to lock the confusion and distress away.

Shame is something we don’t talk about – because at the end of the day, we are all afraid.

On the surface we are taught that our bodies are something to be ashamed of. That there’s hair growing in the ‘wrong’ place, that our bodies shouldn’t sag or bulge and that we aren’t beautiful if we aren’t a certain shape. So if on the outside we have a multitude of things that are considered downright humiliating, then where’s the space for us to start to understand the difficult things that we feel inside?


Shame can be debilitating because we can’t talk about it and it is one of the most damaging things for our emotional health. If this is all too familiar to you right now, why not try seeing a homeopath?  Homeopathy is extraordinary when dealing with deeply challenging and painful issues like this. It will help you to complete the repetitive cycles that you are stuck in and will help you to move on with your life. There is also another great reason why going to see a homeopath can really help – whatever you say is completely confidential and even more important than that – you won’t be judged. Homeopaths are bound by a code that says we must be unprejudiced and we are all trained to be that way. You can bring what you consider to be the darkest, most awful things to your consultation and you will NOT be judged – it really WILL be okay.

There are many remedies that help with these sorts of challenges – the three below give you a taste of how they can help.

Aurum – The person needing this remedy has often reached a state of despair. They are suffering greatly from grief and depression and they now feel the weight of their hopelessness. There are many triggers that bring on this state and shame is certainly one of them. The person in the ‘aurum’ state longs for death and suicide and this remedy can bring a real sense of light relief, and enable the individual to complete the cycle of despair that they feel locked into connecting them finally with a sense of their own inner light.

Carcinosin – This remedy is needed for someone that has lived under extreme fear for a long period of time. It is particularly effective for those who have a history of sexual abuse or who have lived in an abusive relationship. They become a ‘people pleaser’ in order to avoid a repetition of the abuse they have suffered, however, this is done at the cost of their own needs. Sadly, because of this, they often end up attracting more abusive situations because they are unable to stand up for themselves through fear. This remedy can really help the individual find their own sense of self, to bring in some courage and to move on from the ‘victim’ state that they have found themselves in because they needed it as a means of survival in the past.

Staphysagria – The person needing this remedy will have experienced something deeply humiliating at some point in their life. They are very angry and yet are also incredibly sensitive, have often been told they are not good enough and that they are unlovable. There is often a history of rape or sexual abuse and this has then led onto them struggling to find a way to lead a healthy sexual life. This remedy can help to release all the toxic baggage that this person is overwhelmed by, it can help to start reprogramming what they feel about themselves and can help them finally step into who they really are.

There are also many wonderful flower essences that can be used alongside homeopathy and they can certainly help support and nurture someone working through issues of shame and humiliation. For example,

River beauty – This essence is amazing when prescribed to help someone heal after an experience of emotional abuse. It brings a sense of cleansing and freedom, and it also helps to support the individual to reorientate after the distressing experience.

White Fireweed – This essence helps someone in deep emotional shock and trauma from an experience of sexual or emotional abuse. It is a very calming energy and helps support the complete healing of the past experience. 

Black Tourmaline – This is an extraordinary cleanser for the subtle bodies and the physical body after an experience of trauma. It is excellent for release of any toxic or stagnant energy and exchanges this with fresh, clean and clear energy.

If you feel you are ready to take that step towards releasing yourself from your shame please do get in touch.  Whatever you have to say, I really won’t judge you and it will be a privilege for me to help you on your journey.  You really don’t need to carry this burden around with you any longer – you really can be free.

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